D va and Bastion
by WTFamidoingwithmyexistence
Summary: Follow the marvelous misadventures of this hilarious red-team-fighting duo.
1. Chapter 1

"We need to move the payload!" D. va shouted to her teammates as they ran towards the enemies guarding the payload. None of them seemed to listen though as after they rekt them noobs every ran off towards their spawn. Everyone except D. va.

"Beep boop" Came a robotic sounding voice from behind. D. va turned the mech around to see bastion sitting in turret mode behind her.

"Oh, hi Bastion. I thought you went with the others." D. va said pushing a button on her mech and popping out of the back.

"Boop boop, bee beep, boo bee boop bee?" Bastion asked with a tilt of his turret to simulate his head tilting to the side.

"Nah it's fine, our team's spawn camping the enemy so I should be safe." D. va explain crossing her arms over her chest. As she did this they capped the first checkpoint of Kings Row.

"BEEP! BEEP!" Bastion shouted pointing his repair node in front of them. D. va turned he head to see Widowmaker standing in the doorway of the tunnel hallway thingy overlooking the point.

D. va gasped and dropped to the ground while Bastion opened fire on the Widowmaker. After a few seconds Widowmaker fell out of the window and landed on the ground.

"Maudits vous et votre robot copain!" She said with her last dying breaths as the payload slowly drove past her.

"Oh my god, Bastion!" D. va shouted running towards the omnic who came out of turret mode as she did. "You saved my life!"

Bastion was surprised at D. va hugging him and merely looked down at the small Korean girl for a few moments before wrapping his arms around her as well. They stayed like this for a few more seconds until they rounded the corner and saw Mei standing there with a devilish look on her face.

"Bastion, get to cover, I've got this!" D. va said pushing Bastion away and pushing the button on her jacket sleeve. "Mecka activated!"

"You really think that'll work? I can literally freeze you." Mei said putting her hands on her hips.

"Freeze this!" D. va shouted boosting her Mech at the frozen devil.

"This will stop them!" Mei shouted putting a wall up, where she thought was in front of the mech but she didn't realize she actually missed it. Well not until she looked to her right and saw the bright green glow of the mech before it exploded.

"Is this easy mode?" D. va asked turning to face Bastion who was standing behind her still.

"Beep." Bastion responded with a nod.

"You know, for our team being spawn campers they aren't very good at it." D. va said as Bastion configured his turret mode once again.

"Beep."

"You know, Basti _**(pronounced bas•chi)**_ , can I call you that?"

"Bee."

"Alright, Basti, you're all right." Having said this D. va sat down on Bastion's left shoulder as they finally crossed the second point.

"Beep boop boo, bee." Bastion responded.


	2. Chapter 2

"Overtime!" Athena announced as D. va boosted herself onto the point of the sanctuary map of Nepal to prevent the enemy from winning the game.

"Nerf this!" D. va shouted ejecting out of her mech after activating the self-destruct. The enemy team was bad and she killed all 6 of them with it. "Is this easy mode?"

"Boo Beep." Bastion responded walking up behind her on the point to help cap.

"Oh, hey Basti!" D. va said cheerfully not bothering to get back in her mech as she saw their 4 other teammates running off to spawn camp again.

Bastion waved hello as they capped the point and Bastion got into turret form and D. va sat down on his shoulder again. They sat in silence like this for a while until a lone enemy Mercy walked up behind them. Neither of them notice she started shooting Bastion in the back, right in his core.

"No!" D. va shouted throwing herself off of Bastion backwards landing in front of his core and taking a few shots for him. Bastion swung around immediately and mowed the Mercy down instantly, but it wasn't looking good for D. va.

"Beep…" Bastion said sadly looking down at D. va's limp body.

"1HP and a dream baby!" D. va shouted jumping to her feet and hugging Bastion.

"Boo boop beep boo." Bastion scolded before embracing the small Korean girl.

"Ew, gay." A familiar voice said causing them to look over and see a friendly Zenyatta looking at them from across the point. "Uh, I mean. Look at the 2 friends having a moment."

The Zenyatta looked at them for a few more seconds before floating away around a corner going through the flank to avoid looking at them. As he passed by the window he looked at them and when he saw them looking back at him he slowly floated closer to the ground and out of the window's view.

"What a dick." D. va said.

"Beep." Bastion said back in agreement.

"Round 2, complete!" Athena announced as they suddenly found themselves thrown back into the carrier.

"Ha-ha, can't wait until that 2-man Deadeye gets POTG!" McCree boasted to his teammates as they waited for the doors to drop.

"Boo boo beep bee-boo beep." Bastion said pointing at D. va who was chilling outside her mech.

"Pfft, all she did was kill a few people on the point." McCree said waving his hand dismissively.

Bastion raised his finger to indicate he was going to argue further but D. va pulled his arm back down and shook her head at him. Getting the message Bastion didn't say anything and instead walked over to D. va's mech.

"Same plan as before?" D. va asked him to which he responded with an enthusiastic 'Beep'.

The doors dropped as D. va got in her mech and the team ran out the doors. As you would expect all of D. va's teammates got onto the point immediately, after they killed a few enemies the point unlocked and they capped it. And also as you can probably predict everyone but Bastion and D. va left the point to spawn camp.

"Beep?" Bastion asked as D. va hopped out of her mech and he configured into a turret before she sat down on his shoulder.

"Don't worry, I overheard TorbjÖrn and Junkrat talking about putting their stuff in front of the other door so no one would sneak by this time." D. va said calming her friend.

"Boop boop bee?" Bastion asked.

"It's kind of chilly but you're really warm so it's no big deal." D. va said stretching with a yawn. "Wake me up when it's over." She said as she laid across the top of him.

"Boo." Bastion said affirmatively.

D. va fell asleep almost immediately and Bastion sat there with D. va on his back for the rest of the game because no one was able to push out of their spawn area. As it turns out they don't know to stay in their spawn and shoot from inside of it.


End file.
